


Polymorphed Lagomorph

by CatrinaSL



Series: Three Things [40]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A Member of the Avengers Transformed into a Lop Bunny, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Characters play D&D, F/M, Handcuffs, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Three Things, critical role references, frying pan, when fandoms collide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 08:56:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13291446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinaSL/pseuds/CatrinaSL
Summary: Darcy waits for her cue to join Thor's D&D group... which coincidentally contains her Soulmate, a lop bunny.





	Polymorphed Lagomorph

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OvereducatedAndOverworked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OvereducatedAndOverworked/gifts).



> OvereducatedAndOverworked prompted A frying pan, Handcuffs, A member of the Avengers transformed into a lop bunny.
> 
> Soulmate AU Reminder: Everyone has a Soulmark, a tattoo of the first words their Soulmate will say to them. Showing someone else your Soulmark is like baring your soul to them, so most people only show their Soulmate or very trusted friends.

"I cast ploymorph—I'm gonna turn him into a bunny rabbit."

Darcy snickered behind her hand at the party's antics. She was starting to really look forward to playing with them.

"Come on, Steve, you can't do that!" the bunnified one protested. "It's a signature move."

"She only did it once," Steve argued back. "And it's a spell in the Player's Handbook; it's not like I stole the idea."

"I'm just  _ trying _ to remind you guys about what happened the  _ last _ time we met some unknown in a tavern—"

"Clint," Bruce interrupted. "You're a lop rabbit."

Clint the Bunny frowned. "I hop angrily," he reported.

Darcy's laugh was covered by the giggles of Natasha, who played the party's half-orc Paladin.

"Fear not, friends," Thor said. Darcy wasn't sure whether he was speaking in character as Garrick the Cleric or as himself, because he talked like he was in a fantasy novel all the time. "As I have been trying to explain to our lagomorph friend, this person is an ally of mine who will aid you in my absence."

"Are we going NPC for the cleric, then?" Natasha asked.

"Nope, you'll just have to get along with healing potions and Lay On Hands," Bruce said.

"But he just said—" Steve began.

"As you sit there discussing it—and being cute and fluffy," Bruce interrupted, "the door to the tavern opens, and in walks a figure in a travel cloak with the hood pulled up. Make a Perception check."

There were a round of rolls, and Steve reported, "Fifteen." "Eight," Natasha said, and Thor chimed in with, "Twelve."

"Do I use the rabbit's Perception or my own?" Clint the Bunny wanted to know.

"Just gimme a straight roll, and I'll get it for you," Bruce said, sounding like he was trying not to laugh.

Darcy heard the sound of a lone d20 on the table, and Clint the Bunny said, "Eighteen."

"Ah, okay," Bruce said, rolling behind the DM screen. He allowed his previous caged laughter to escape. "Unfortunately, the only one able to see anything unusual is the only one who can't communicate it to any of the others at the moment, and that is you, Mister Hoppers, so..."

Darcy peeked around the corner in time to see Steve heave a sigh.

"Okay, all right, I'll drop the polymorph," he said.

"Nope, too late, I'm a bunny forever," Clint said, pushing Steve's face away when he tried to lean closer to hear what Bruce was whispering. "Hmm..."

Darcy smiled; she knew Bruce was probably telling Clint about the handcuffs around her character's wrist, which was her favorite piece of backstory about her character. She was a wandering bard, searching the world for her sister's killer. She planned to bring them to justice herself, dragging them to be tried for murder, handcuffed to her the whole way if necessary.

"The traveler approaches the table—" Bruce continued as he leaned away from Clint the Bunny, "—and lowers their hood." He paused for a moment of tension before calling, "Darcy?"

Darcy stepped out into the common dining room and approached the table, just like her character was doing in the game. Thor grinned broadly at her, while the other three blinked in confusion.

"Another player?" Steve said. "Don't you think you should have discussed this with—"

"She's just going to fill in while Thor and Jane are on Asgard," Bruce interrupted. "You're ruining the narrative."

Steve frowned, but he shut up and settled for eyeing Darcy suspiciously. She wasn't sure if it was in character or not, but either way she tried not to be offended by it.

Bruce nodded at Thor, who took his cue. "My friend, I see you had no trouble finding the place."

"None whatsoever," Darcy answered, setting her book on the table and taking a seat next to Thor. "Are these the adventurers you promised could help me in my quest?"

"Undoubtedly!" Garrick!Thor boomed. "This is Vruhag, deadly with an axe." Natasha nodded at Darcy from across the table. "And Alder, nature-whisperer." The deep and serious nod Steve gave Darcy almost made her giggle, considering she'd just heard him turn one of his companions into a rabbit so he wouldn't have to listen to what he had to say. "And this is Maquam, learned of the arcane."

Darcy considered Clint, who wiggled his nose at her, and said, "What, did he pull himself out of a hat or something?"

Natasha threw her head back and laughed. Clint the Bunny glared at her, and Steve chuckled. "What is your weapon of choice?" Vruhag!Natasha demanded.

"Music!" Darcy replied. "Or a frying pan, if I really need it."

"A frying pan." Steve raised an eyebrow.

"It has saved my life many-a time," Darcy claimed, then leaned across the table and said out of character, "plus it's a pretty decent bludgeoning weapon because of my proficiency with it."

Clint the Bunny opened his mouth to ask a question, but apparently remembered he couldn't speak and closed it, leveling another impressive glare at Steve.

"I'll  _ actually  _ drop the polymorph this time," Steve told Bruce.

Bruce shook his head, apparently unable to suppress a smile. "There's a poof of smoke, and the chair that until recently contained a fluffy bunny is now filled by an annoyed dwarf in wizard's robes."

"Impressive," Darcy said, regarding Clint again, this time imagining him as the character Bruce had described. "Is that a personal problem, or...?"

"Stealth tactics," Clint replied slowly, staring at Darcy as though he was actually seeing her for the first time.

"Darcy, before we go on do you want to tell the group what they see when they look at your cha—"

"Time out," Darcy said, focused in on Clint. "You just said my Words. I've had a false positive once before, so—"

Clint shook his head. "No, we're definitely Soulmates," he said, pulling up the sleeve of the hoodie he was wearing to reveal the Words Darcy had just said to him, written in her handwriting across his forearm.

"Cool, okay," Darcy said, definitely not freaking out.

"Maybe we should... put this session on hold?" Bruce suggested, and Darcy realized that Natasha and Steve were already packing up their things. 

Thor was beaming at Darcy, and swept her up in a crushing hug. "I am happy for you, my friend," he said. "I am pleased that you have found the Soul to match your own and that I have no need to threaten him as I did your last companion. Clint is already aware that I can crush him if he hurts you."

"I love you too, big guy," Darcy squeaked out, patting Thor awkwardly on the arm.

Bruce folded his DM screen and Natasha helped him gather up his dice, and in no time Darcy was left alone in the common room with her Soulmate.

Clint the Bunny.

"'Stealth tactics', huh?" Darcy said, lifting her shirt so Clint could see the Words on her ribs.

"I'm actually pretty good at them in real life. Not just when I'm a polymorphed lagomorph," Clint said.

"Uh-huh," Darcy said, and her tone was disbelieving enough that Clint's eyes lit up with challenge.

"You need me to prove it?" he asked.

Darcy shrugged. "I mean..."

He was over next to the wall in a flash, removing a nearby vent cover. "Come on," he said. "Let's go, Soulmate."

Darcy regarded him and his crazy idea that she was going to follow him into the ventilation system. "I kind of get the whole fate thing now," she said, pointing between herself and her Soulmate. And then she got up and went to join him, and they headed off to adventure.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> The bunnifying is a reference to [Critical Role episode 15](https://youtu.be/_dIBh0dGhzI?t=2h19m54s). The idea that the Avengers sit around watching a bunch of nerdy-ass voice actors playing D&D is hilarious to me.
> 
> [Prompt a Three Things fic!](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf7S2MbkK0CxVHMG3kF8CD6fYqD0zwY-J6MqLb21nmFyRpE4w/viewform)
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/169399814733/polymorphed-lagomorph)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


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